A letter to myself…

This phase won’t last forever, but how you choose to respond right now, may affect their ‘forever’.

Feeling touched out, constantly needed, forever interrupted, unable to properly care for yourself, counting the hours until bedtime and THEN…your child won’t go to sleep.

Oh the frustration. The squelched anticipation. The feeling of being robbed of your time. Of your evening. Of your SELF.

You find yourself firmly laying down some rules, threatening lost privileges and tricking them into going to sleep on their own, with bribery.

But that one night, when they turn around and  tell you that actually they are frightened. That they only feel safe at bedtime if you are with them. That they have a painful sicky feeling in their chest from the worry they are feeling. Wow. You’ve got to listen to that, right?

The frustration is still there for sure, but really…what’s a few minutes knocked off your evening when your six year old needs your help to feel safe? It is surely worth avoiding an hour to two hour long battle if you sit with them for 15 minutes to help to feel calm.

You know what? It won’t break them. It won’t make them ‘too soft’. They won’t need you there forever. But what they will know is that you LISTEN to their needs. You CARE about their feelings. You WANT to help them. And that’s pretty powerful stuff for a child to grow up knowing.

Mama. This won’t last forever. In fact, it’s going to be gone in the blink of an eye. But how you choose to respond can affect their ‘forever’. It can shape their being. It can influence how they cope and deal with their feelings, even in the distant future.

In a world where mental health struggles are soaring and where male suicide rates are at an all time high, you have to take these cries for help, support and encouragement seriously. You have to take the, sometimes frustrating, route to reach the end of a troublesome path and guide them through. You have to let them know you are listening, will listen and will always be there to listen.

You must listen.

It’s not forever Mama, but you sure can shape it.

Lucy

X

You got this Mama, even when you feel like you don’t

MOTHERHOOD
*You got this Mama, even when you feel like you don’t*

This photograph popped up on my Facebook memories. An exhausted Mama and a 17 day old baby. My friend had come to see us and this is what she got to hang out with.
I had a chicken pox ridden 2 year old absolutely covered in itchy, painful spots and little did I know, Rocco would end up with it at 4 weeks and we were both in for a stay in hospital for IV antivirals.
Rex had just finished his paternity leave, Christmas and New Year had been and gone in a whirlwind of illness and exhaustion and we had only left the house about 3 times since he had been born.
I was a mess in more ways than one. Physically in pain post birth and on top of that, those breastfeeding fake contractions they neglect to tell you about!! 👀
Emotionally all over the place with my attention constantly divided between my poorly toddler and my needy newborn.
Exhausted through lack of sleep and claustrophobic with cabin fever and always being needed by someone.
But Mamas…you know what? Things changed. The boys got older and I actually missed those midnight cuddles from Rocco. We got through the illness, the chickenpox, the gallbladder removal, the hospital stays, the constant need to be touched (ok, ok, that still happens some days).
Motherhood isn’t easy.
Motherhood is full on and ugly at times.
Motherhood can make your heart feel like bursting with pride, whilst simultaneously breaking for your children when they are going through rough times.
But to those Mamas in the newborn stages – it is ok to not feel like you are enjoying every moment, like you feel you should. It’s normal to crave time to yourself and to hide in a cupboard to get a minutes peace. There will be days that your children decide to get on and you can drink a hot cup of tea and maybe sneak a biscuit. You won’t fall asleep on your friends when they visit and you will have days when you laugh so much you cry (there will also be days where you cry so much you laugh!)
Surround yourself with good people. Get out to the baby groups and have the courage to talk to other people. You need each other!
You got this Mama! Even when you feel like you don’t.
♥️
Lucy

(Originally posted on our Insta page)

What do you do?

What do you do?

I am a Mother.

I am a professional debater, negotiator and mediator.
I am a referee.
I am a personal shopper, a launderette and a cleaner.
I am a meal planner, a recipe maker and a chef.
I am a Google taught nurse, a doctor, a diagnoser and a prescriber of Calpol.
I am a P.A.
I am a taxi driver, a chauffeur and a sit-in-the-car-while-they-play-football-in-the-dark kinda cabbie.
I am an agony aunt.
I am a shoulder to cry on, a punch bag to let out anger on and a hug when they need it the most.
I am a party planner and a caterer.
I am a time keeper, a weather woman and a travel agent for days out and holidays.
I am a teacher of Mathematics, English, Geography, History and Languages to name a few.
I am a teacher of life.
I am a role model, a guide and a mentor.
I am a leader.
I am a crafter, a creator, a maker and a make believer.
I’m an actor, a singer, a do-a-silly-dancer and an author.
I am a planner, a thinker, a giver and a do-er.
I am an encourager, a reassurer and a ‘you can do it’ proclaimer.
I am an advisor.
I am a protector.
I am a shield.
I am a one woman army fighting for a good cause.
I am just a full time Mum at the moment.
I am all of these things.
I am Mummy.
I am Mum.
I am.

I am a Mother.

Mother’s Day

I have posted this on my personal Facebook page, but wanted to share the sentiment with my followers on here too:

Happy Mother’s Day to my lovely friends. I’m taking the opportunity to share this again …

To my friends who are Mothers, I hope you are treated today. I’m celebrating with you.

To my friends who have their Mothers, be thankful today. I am thankful like you.

To my friends who long to be Mothers, I hope you have hope today. I’m praying for you.

To my friends who are Mothers to babies and children whose lives were far too short, or who have lost their Mothers, have strength and courage. My heart breaks for you.

To my friends who are Mothers but are struggling to ‘enjoy every moment’, I see you. I hope today your spirits are lifted and you can find joy in the small things.

To my friends who are doing this journey of Motherhood alone, you are real life superheroes. My hope is that today you will know that and will be showered in love by your little people.

I am so aware now more than ever that today is lovely for some and so hard for others (sometimes even a mix of the two). My biggest hope is that all of my friends know and are shown love today (and every other day!)

Love

Lucy
Xxx

To my village…

It’s been a week since we made our move to our new home and I have been sitting on this blog post for a while. I thought now would be a good time to share it before it is too late.

This one is for my village. You know who you are.

It has been said many times that it takes a village to raise a child. But the problem I have found since having my children is that community is so broken down these days. The ‘village’ just isn’t there in the way it used to be. The early days of parenthood, once the visits have fizzled out and the husbands or partners go back to work can feel like more of a wilderness. A lonely time of sleep deprivation, pans piled high by the sink, trying to work out what’s best when it comes to your babies feeding, sleeping, crying and even trumping.

For me, this just wasn’t going to work. We were first time parents, away from my family and if I hadn’t dragged myself, eyebags and all, out to meet people, I could easily have slipped into a very dark place.

So off I trundled to our very first Music Bugs class with my 4 month old (the waiting list was long because it was so popular) and found myself singing to my sleeping baby, trying to build up some courage to talk to someone and instead rambling on to Archie about where we would go next.

Fortunately for me, I had sat next to Amy, who turned to me and invited me out for coffee with her and a couple of others and I am so glad I plucked up the courage to go. These people and gradually more lovely Mummies became my village…

The ones who look out for each other.

The ones who accept each other in whatever state they rock up in every Tuesday.

The ones who rearranged their working patterns at the end of maternity leave to protect spending Tuesdays together.

The ones who scoop your baby up when you end up crying alongside your over emotional toddler in the middle of a soft play centre.

The ones who change their plans to help you out when you or your baby are sick.

The ones who are there for each other through everything that life throws at them. Even the really messy stuff.

The ones who genuinely care for your children and you for their’s, as if they were family.

The ones who can stay up until midnight on Whats App, discussing towel washing or musicals or babies’ poo habits or more important stuff than that.

The ones who you would drop everything for if they or their children needed you.

The ones who you can sit on every farm park tractor ride with multiple times and still have fun.

The ones who you can totally be yourself around and not feel judged.

I feel incredibly honoured to have made such brilliant friends over the past 5 years and have made it my mission to be a ‘bit more Amy’ when I see someone who may need a friend. Someone who looks lonely, or overwhelmed, or new.

So…my village…I love you all, I miss you and I am so grateful for the friendship we share. You and your children have shaped the past 5 years for the better and I look forward to adventures of a different kind in the future.

And anyone else reading, don’t let yourself get swallowed up by the potential loneliness of early motherhood. Be brave and step outside your comfort zone. Get out to meet new people and if you see someone looking a bit lost, remember – be a bit more Amy.

Lucy x

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