Mother’s Day

I have posted this on my personal Facebook page, but wanted to share the sentiment with my followers on here too:

Happy Mother’s Day to my lovely friends. I’m taking the opportunity to share this again …

To my friends who are Mothers, I hope you are treated today. I’m celebrating with you.

To my friends who have their Mothers, be thankful today. I am thankful like you.

To my friends who long to be Mothers, I hope you have hope today. I’m praying for you.

To my friends who are Mothers to babies and children whose lives were far too short, or who have lost their Mothers, have strength and courage. My heart breaks for you.

To my friends who are Mothers but are struggling to ‘enjoy every moment’, I see you. I hope today your spirits are lifted and you can find joy in the small things.

To my friends who are doing this journey of Motherhood alone, you are real life superheroes. My hope is that today you will know that and will be showered in love by your little people.

I am so aware now more than ever that today is lovely for some and so hard for others (sometimes even a mix of the two). My biggest hope is that all of my friends know and are shown love today (and every other day!)

Love

Lucy
Xxx

To my village…

It’s been a week since we made our move to our new home and I have been sitting on this blog post for a while. I thought now would be a good time to share it before it is too late.

This one is for my village. You know who you are.

It has been said many times that it takes a village to raise a child. But the problem I have found since having my children is that community is so broken down these days. The ‘village’ just isn’t there in the way it used to be. The early days of parenthood, once the visits have fizzled out and the husbands or partners go back to work can feel like more of a wilderness. A lonely time of sleep deprivation, pans piled high by the sink, trying to work out what’s best when it comes to your babies feeding, sleeping, crying and even trumping.

For me, this just wasn’t going to work. We were first time parents, away from my family and if I hadn’t dragged myself, eyebags and all, out to meet people, I could easily have slipped into a very dark place.

So off I trundled to our very first Music Bugs class with my 4 month old (the waiting list was long because it was so popular) and found myself singing to my sleeping baby, trying to build up some courage to talk to someone and instead rambling on to Archie about where we would go next.

Fortunately for me, I had sat next to Amy, who turned to me and invited me out for coffee with her and a couple of others and I am so glad I plucked up the courage to go. These people and gradually more lovely Mummies became my village…

The ones who look out for each other.

The ones who accept each other in whatever state they rock up in every Tuesday.

The ones who rearranged their working patterns at the end of maternity leave to protect spending Tuesdays together.

The ones who scoop your baby up when you end up crying alongside your over emotional toddler in the middle of a soft play centre.

The ones who change their plans to help you out when you or your baby are sick.

The ones who are there for each other through everything that life throws at them. Even the really messy stuff.

The ones who genuinely care for your children and you for their’s, as if they were family.

The ones who can stay up until midnight on Whats App, discussing towel washing or musicals or babies’ poo habits or more important stuff than that.

The ones who you would drop everything for if they or their children needed you.

The ones who you can sit on every farm park tractor ride with multiple times and still have fun.

The ones who you can totally be yourself around and not feel judged.

I feel incredibly honoured to have made such brilliant friends over the past 5 years and have made it my mission to be a ‘bit more Amy’ when I see someone who may need a friend. Someone who looks lonely, or overwhelmed, or new.

So…my village…I love you all, I miss you and I am so grateful for the friendship we share. You and your children have shaped the past 5 years for the better and I look forward to adventures of a different kind in the future.

And anyone else reading, don’t let yourself get swallowed up by the potential loneliness of early motherhood. Be brave and step outside your comfort zone. Get out to meet new people and if you see someone looking a bit lost, remember – be a bit more Amy.

Lucy x

Instagram – @thelifeschoolers

thelifeschoolers@gmail.com

This is Life Schooling…

A few weeks ago we went on a trip to CBeebies Land with some of our absolutely favourite people. Archie was sat in the back of the car with one of his besties who he has grown up with, who does go to school. P asked Archie if he could count in twos and his automatic response was “No”. P was a little surprised that he couldn’t, so she told us about it.

It wasn’t until I gave Archie an example of counting in twos, that he realised he could in fact do that and also he could count in tens, it’s just that he has learnt it so naturally, that he didn’t know that this skill had a particular name!

This happened a couple more times that day when they were having their little chats in the back of the car and their conversations were so sweet to hear!

Fast forward a couple of weeks to yesterday when we were sat at dinner and a conversation came up about numbers. I thought I would take the opportunity to ask Archie a couple of questions. I started with “Do you know what double 3 is Archie”, to which answered “yes, 6!” We went through many other doubles which he loved and answered all of them correctly, only having to use his fingers to work out one of them.

This may seem normal for a boy of 5, but the thing is, I have never…and I really mean NEVER sat him down and taught him how to double numbers, or what a double is. It has ALL come through play and natural learning opportunities that have arisen in our daily lives. I have a feeling that his recent love for the game Shut the Box has helped too!

Fast forward again to today and Rocco, our 2 year old turned to me and correctly told me “This is my right hand and this is my left hand!” He showed me his right and left hand as he said it. I thought it was a fluke, but every time I asked him which was his right or left hand throughout the day, he got it right. Now, I’m sure you will all know by now, that I have never sat him down to teach him about his left and right either, but again, he has learnt through practical application and every day experiences. This particular piece of knowledge, he picked up when he was feeling particularly grumpy in the woods and Rex was telling him which way we would need to go next. He told him ONCE which hand was which, to help him know which way to go and it stuck!

It amazes me daily how much knowledge and skill these boys soak up every day. They don’t even realise they are learning most of the time! One day, Archie may need to know that it is called ‘counting in twos’, or whatever else it is he needs to know, but at least then, he will already know what to do and it will just be a fancy name to give to all of his many different skills and pockets of knowledge!

This is life schooling. Learning through the every day. The mundane. The adventure. The daily problem solving. The play. And do you know what?…It’s working!

Thanks for reading, please do get in touch either in the comments on here, through our Instagram page (@thelifeschoolers) or drop us an email at thelifeschoolers@gmail.com!

Lucy

X

Changes

The change in this kid in the last year is just phenomenal. From bright and bubbly, carefree and crazy, to withdrawn and unsure, emotional and unsettled. But wow, we are coming back fighting.

We have been out of school for over 7 months now. Longer than we were in school in fact and I could honestly burst with pride.

7 months ago, this warrior wouldn’t have asked for something he needed from anyone other than myself or Rex. He would spend days shouting at his little brother, out of sheer frustration, confusion and jealously. He would shy away from standing out in any way and would strive to blend in and not be noticed. He wasn’t eating, or sleeping and he just lost the Archieness of Archie.

But now…well let me tell you… He boldly and bravely talks to any of the many people we meet every day, asking questions and talking to them with such a genuineness. He picks his outfits, without fear of standing out (I had the pleasure of having dinner at the pub with Archie the elf a few days ago). He makes friends everywhere he goes, no matter what their age is. He learns from those who are older than him and helps those who are younger. He has shown such courage walking on to a pitch full of strangers when joining a hockey club, just occasionally giving me a wave or a smile, to make sure I’m still there, cheering him on. You bet I am. I always will be.

This kid will go far. The boldness, bravery, courage, inquisitiveness and kindness I see in his heart daily show me this.

We may be doing life a little different to the norm. But I love it. And so does he. And loving life is high up on our agenda! Sorry for the ramble, but it seems fitting to share, even a day late for mental health awareness. I hope, more than anything, that we have prevented any long term mental health issues that Archie could have suffered from, having stepped in when we did and listened to his cry for help. ♥️

(Originally posted on our Instagram on 11/10/18)

I’d love to hear from anyone on a similar journey to us, or anyone who feels their child is going through what Archie did. Do get in touch on here in the comments, on the @thelifeschoolers Instagram page, or by emailing thelifeschoolers@gmail.com. Lucy x

Why my children are not my world…

 

 

I see it all the time…a beautiful picture of a Mama with her babies and the caption ‘My world’.

While I totally understand the sentiment behind it, I have to confess…

My children are not my world. 

There. I said it.

Do I love them? More than they will ever know.

Would I walk through fire to save them? Without a doubt.

Do I spend most of my days with them and for them at the moment? Yup!

But my world? No.

Let me explain…

First things first… The husbands and partners are often not included in these lovely pictures. I want my husband to know he is very much a part of our lives and OUR world, even though he is the one that has to go out to work regularly. We love him and value him so much!

I also can’t help but think of the pressure a child must feel when we rely on them to be our whole world. I know more often than not it is a turn of phrase, but children take things literally a lot of the time. To be Mummy’s whole world and then Mummy has a bad day…”What did I do wrong”, “Was I not good enough”, “Did I not make Mummy happy today?” Might be a few thoughts that go through a child’s mind. To be someone’s world suggests that you are everything to them. You are what makes them happy. If they are not happy, it must be your fault, right?

I believe that these little boys have been entrusted into our care, so that we can love them, raise them, empower them, teach them and nurture them. These boys will hopefully grow to be strong, well rounded and grounded individuals who one day won’t need us as much as they do now. 

If they are my world and they grow up and move away, I’m in trouble. 

I am going to find it hard enough to watch them go as it is, but we will support them in any way we can to do what they need to do, so they can go where they need to go. I can’t imagine the incredible heartache someone must feel when their ‘whole world’ ups and leaves. Not to mention the guilt and worry that those, now adults, feel when they are breaking their Mother’s heart by following their dreams.

If I get all my happiness and worth from my children, because they are my world, I will get let down. A lot. Children mess up, they make mistakes, they break your stuff, they ruin your sleep, they don’t always consider you in their actions. Because they are children. They are growing and learning every day and they cannot provide this perfect world that so many people strive for, nor should we expect them to. 

My children are a HUGE part of my world, that is definitely true. But so is my husband, my family, my friends and my God, without whom, I wouldn’t have a world at all.

20180508_152135

Like what you see here? Why not give the blog a follow, or head over to the @thelifeschoolers Instagram page. I’d love to hear from you, so do get in touch or leave a comment here!

Lucy x