I see it all the time…a beautiful picture of a Mama with her babies and the caption ‘My world’.
While I totally understand the sentiment behind it, I have to confess…
My children are not my world.
There. I said it.
Do I love them? More than they will ever know.
Would I walk through fire to save them? Without a doubt.
Do I spend most of my days with them and for them at the moment? Yup!
But my world? No.
Let me explain…
First things first… The husbands and partners are often not included in these lovely pictures. I want my husband to know he is very much a part of our lives and OUR world, even though he is the one that has to go out to work regularly. We love him and value him so much!
I also can’t help but think of the pressure a child must feel when we rely on them to be our whole world. I know more often than not it is a turn of phrase, but children take things literally a lot of the time. To be Mummy’s whole world and then Mummy has a bad day…”What did I do wrong”, “Was I not good enough”, “Did I not make Mummy happy today?” Might be a few thoughts that go through a child’s mind. To be someone’s world suggests that you are everything to them. You are what makes them happy. If they are not happy, it must be your fault, right?
I believe that these little boys have been entrusted into our care, so that we can love them, raise them, empower them, teach them and nurture them. These boys will hopefully grow to be strong, well rounded and grounded individuals who one day won’t need us as much as they do now.
If they are my world and they grow up and move away, I’m in trouble.
I am going to find it hard enough to watch them go as it is, but we will support them in any way we can to do what they need to do, so they can go where they need to go. I can’t imagine the incredible heartache someone must feel when their ‘whole world’ ups and leaves. Not to mention the guilt and worry that those, now adults, feel when they are breaking their Mother’s heart by following their dreams.
If I get all my happiness and worth from my children, because they are my world, I will get let down. A lot. Children mess up, they make mistakes, they break your stuff, they ruin your sleep, they don’t always consider you in their actions. Because they are children. They are growing and learning every day and they cannot provide this perfect world that so many people strive for, nor should we expect them to.
My children are a HUGE part of my world, that is definitely true. But so is my husband, my family, my friends and my God, without whom, I wouldn’t have a world at all.
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